In Part 2, I converted the typical, boring wine review to a brief, yet descriptive Haiku (yes, Haiku).
What else could be done to put some soul in a wine review? How about some Old School Rhymin'?
Original review: Martini & Rossi Asti, non-vintage ($12) - A good, simple, unassuming wine. Asti is very pale gold in color with active bubbles. It has a scent that can best be described as, “grapey.” There are also aromas of canned peach and apricot. While Asti is sweet, it is balanced by distinct crispness that lasts through the finish. The flavor confirms everything detected by the nose with a creamy sensation in the mouth to boot. Asti is fine as an aperitif and it works very well with Sunday brunch – particularly egg dishes
Rewritten using that Old School Rhymin':
F*** tha Kristal! / I need bubbly for my posse at a price that’s minimal
I’m cynical / I be sniffin’ / Takin a whiffin’/ My nose twitchin’ like a whacked out kitten.
This glass aint frontin’ / Sweet peach, apricot ‘n grapes sure be sayin’ somthin’.
Asti is dope / It’s creamy / Yeah boy / Feelin’ oh so dreamy. / Sweet but not heavy / Ya’ll ready?
Gimme eggs. Gimme bread. Gimme fruit. / Man, this s*** is mad-tasty to boot.