Back in June, Beau snarked about wine words he hates.
I had to revisit that post yesterday when reading about Robert Parker’s Wine of the Day. Here’s some of his review:
“The 2004 Gruner Veltliner Weinzierlberg, harvested mid-November, offers ripe aromas of brown spice-accented peaches and plums as well as Veltliner-typical snap peas. The palate is sappy and fruit filled, with plenty of cut, clarity, and crisp vegetable, juicy pit fruit, and tart red raspberry character. The finish is long and refreshing, with subtly salty suggestions of minerality…”
Huh? Can someone tell me what the hell “brown spice-accented peaches” are? Would those be brown spices or brown peaches? Lots of the spices in my cabinet are brown (cinnamon and nutmeg, cumin and coriander, just to name a few), and the only brown peach I’ve ever seen is the one I found rotting behind my fruit bowl. How about the palate being “sappy”? Okay, if I let my imagination run wild, maybe. But having plenty of “cut, clarity, and crisp vegetable, juicy pit fruit”? Anyone??
Is this review really written to inform and describe a wine, or merely to flaunt his own absurd loquaciousness? I respect Parker’s intelligence and his contributions to the wine world. But unfortunately, many people are still intimidated by wine, and this esoteric crazy-speak certainly doesn’t help. Maybe Parker should take up poetry?