Or how to select the appropriate caffeine dosage in order to get your morning twitch on..in Austria
Kleiner Brauner (kline-er brown-er) - similar to a single espresso shot, but a little more water (so it seems to me). Still strong.
Verlängerter (fair-lang-er-ter) - means literally, "extended one." Similar to a Cafe Americano (espresso with more water)
Cappuccino (wuss drink) - I ordered one and the waiter gave me a funny look. It seems to be a shot or two of espresso with a righteous dollop of heavy duty whipped cream swimming on the surface.
Kaffee (surprise!) - Depending on where one is, this could be any number of coffee incantations. In a hotel or B&B, Kaffee with breakfast is generally drip coffee....or *gasp!* instant coffee. However, in a restaurant, ordering a "Kaffee" might result in additional questions from the server as to what kind. This could be dangerous, as it may force you into attempting a detailed discussion on coffee options in German.
How to order: "Ich hätte gern einen + Großen Braunen/Kleinen Braunen/etc."
Alternate ordering method: *point to appropriate choice on menu*
Of course, if you find yourself in the town of Spitz in the Wachau Valley, you may also have the opportunity of ordering a Spitzer Kaffee. This is a Verlängerter + Schnaps + Eilikör (egg liqueur) + dollop of whipped cream to cover everything up. This seems like a risky drink with which to start your morning off.