Basic Juice - the wine blog for my generation

Gutenberg Would be Proud: The Juice in Print

If you happen to dwell in the land of hard copy, check out the current issue of Salt Lake Magazine.  Whilst neglecting Basic Juice in cyberspace, I have been nurturing it in the world of print.  Alas, I am still struggling to multitask.

For those who eschew paper, have a look at the extended, 'Author's Cut' of the article below the fold.

Too Many Notes

editor's note: This is an article I wrote for the fine Volks at the Austria Tourism Office.  You'll be able to see it in all its glory in finer travel bureaus and airlines everywhere.  Download a PDF preview of it here.

Discover ‘Too Many Notes’ in Austria’s Wine Regions

Upon hearing one of Mozart’s operas, 18th Century Austrian Emperor Joseph II famously remarked, “Too many notes, my dear Mozart.”  While Joseph II may have initially overlooked the genius of Mozart, fortunately, he understood the artistry of Austrian wine.  This enlightened monarch decreed that wine growers were permitted to sell wine directly to consumers.  Modern Austrian winemakers honor the country’s storied wine history by producing quality wines that will strike a chord with any culinary adventurer.

The miracle of Austria is that all of its wine regions are incredibly easy to visit.  In fact, once you step off the plane in Vienna, you have already arrived in one of the world’s most unique wine regions. No other country can boast of so much viticulture and wine-culture in its capitol city. During the Middle Ages, each district of Vienna (called Bezirk in German) worked its own vineyards.  As the city grew and modernized, many vineyards were lost to concrete, asphalt, etc.  Recently, there has been a trend towards replanting vines in the city.  There are 630 wineries (that's one winery per 2,500 Viennese - my kind of town) in Vienna.  White grapes dominate these urban vineyards.  Grüner Veltliner, the quintessential Austrian grape, is common, along with Riesling and Chardonnay.  These crisp white wines are the perfect accompaniment to Wiener Schnitzel, potato salad or any manner of wurst. For those who enjoy tasting in style, visit the Hotel Rathaus Wein & Design – a hotel made just for wine lovers.  Alternatively, if you prefer surfing and sipping, take your laptop to Wein & Co., where you’ll find hundreds of Austrian wines alongside free Wi-Fi! Don’t miss this one-of-a-kind cosmopolitan wine experience.

Thar Be th' Dao

Yar!  Ye landlubbers.  Grab a stool 'n heed me tale.  A tale of swashbucklin an' mutiny on the high seas!  It happ'nt lo many years hence.  But t'me - it seems t'be only a fortnight previous...

I was cap'n of a frightnin galleon.  She was th' most fearsome ship ever to sail the seven seas. Me 'n me crew plundered 'er from the Spanish armada.  Aye, we swashbuckled 'er in the black 'o night from th' sorriest lot o' sprogs ye ever did see.  Yar.  Me crew christen'd 'er 'The Widow' after findin the galley filled to the sails with frenchy bubbly wine called Voove.  Aye, after sendin that lilly-livered crew of spaniards into Davey Joneses locker we smashed open a hogshead of Voove bottles and swilled 'til me 'n me crew sprouted the reddest grog blossoms ye ever did see.  Arrr!  'Twas a joyous fest.  But after hours a'drinkin, me crew went a'sleep.  Yet, I, the ol' Cap'n - elder als the lot of 'em, was still carousin'.  I sat down on the empty hogshead and she smashed like a wee robin's egg.  Yar!  splinters in the backside.  Arr.  I lept to me feet and started de-splinterin, when I spied a scrap o' parchment on the deck.  'Twas a map.  A treasure map!  And lo, the treasure was buried near the Dao - miles inland in the north of Portugal.  I hid the treasure map in me pantaloons.  Avast! The Dao booty would be mine, an' mine alone.

At Dawn I shook me crew awake.  The lot of 'em were still loaded to the gunwalls with th' bubblin grog.  "Awake!  Ye lot of scallywags." I shouted.  "We sail to the Dao."  "Now smartly there drunken swabs." 

Very Simply Sherry

Sherry is one of the wine world's most undervalued creations.  Sherry's history alone could fill up a War and Peace-sized volume.  Additionally, the production of Sherry, and its numerous styles, is complex enough to add a second volume to Sherry's tome.  When confronted by Sherry & its vocabulary, many modern wine drinkers become dazed & confused by terms like flor, fino, olorosa, criadera and solera. It's easier to walk on by.  However, a little time investment in understanding Sherry, will open up an entirely new world of wine scents and flavors.  Allow me to present Sherry in a user friendly, 3-part format.  Who knows, you may experience the sudden urge to grab a bottle and whip up a few tapas.  It could happen.

Part 1: Make Sherry, Not War

Part 2: Waiter!  There's a 100 Year Old Wine in My Sherry.

Part 3: Sherry Comes to Dinner

Technorati Tags: sherry, spanish wine, wine

Cab*er*net

I love wine. Wine tasting notes - not so much. The traditional tasting note is brief, descriptive and entirely unimaginative. Occasionally I daydream of ways in which my passion for wine might be more creatively communicated. I've experimented with wine love letters, fake wine news shows and avant-garde poetry. However, I always return to the David Foster Wallace-style tasting note. Why? A Wallace note maintains the traditional form, yet at the same time, it opens wine up to adjunct information, brief and extended asides, and random weirdness. And hey, who doesn’t enjoy a glass of wine, chased by a shot of random weirdness? If you’re a Wallace fan, sit back and enjoy. If Wallace gives you hives, prepare the tomatoes!

 

Montes⁽¹⁾ Alpha⁽²⁾ Cabernet Sauvignon⁽³⁾ 2003⁽⁴⁾ (~$20)
Deep⁽⁵⁾ indigo⁽⁶⁾ in color, fading to an intense pink rim⁽⁷⁾. Classic Cabernet nose⁽⁸⁾ of cassis⁽⁹⁾, leather⁽¹⁰⁾, cigarbox⁽¹¹⁾, black plum⁽¹²⁾ and vanilla⁽¹³⁾. Dry, with balanced acidity⁽¹⁴⁾ and soft mouth-filling⁽¹⁵⁾ tannins⁽¹⁶⁾. Medium-full bodied⁽¹⁷⁾ with a fruit-dominated palate⁽¹⁸⁾ and slightly abbreviated⁽¹⁹⁾, vanilla-heavy finish⁽²⁰⁾. A reasonably priced Cabernet from the Colchaqua valley⁽²¹⁾. This wine may be drunk now⁽²²⁾, but may develop more complexity⁽²³⁾ over the next 2-4 years⁽²⁴⁾.

Very Simply Sherry I

Cross-posted at the Scotch Blog - an excellent resource for Whisky imbibers.

Sherry is one of the wine world's most undervalued creations.  Sherry's history alone could fill up a War and Peace-sized volume.  Additionally, the production of Sherry, and its numerous styles, is complex enough to add a second volume to Sherry's tome.  When confronted by Sherry & its vocabulary, many modern wine drinkers become dazed & confused by terms like flor, fino, olorosa, criadera and solera. It's easier to walk on by.  However, a little time investment in understanding Sherry, will open up an entirely new world of wine scents and flavors.  Allow me to present Sherry in a user friendly, 3-part format.  Who knows, you may experience the sudden urge to grab a bottle and whip up a few tapas.  It could happen.

Part 1:  Make Sherry, Not War

Sherry is produced within a 3-town triangle in the southern Spanish community of Andalusia.  By far, the key town in the history of Sherry is Jerez de la Frontera (Puerto de Santa Maria and Sanlucar de Barrameda being the other two towns).  Jerez has been home to a who's who of civilizations.  Evidence suggests Jerez may have been founded by the Phoenicians in 1100 BC.  These ancient folk were succeeded by the Carthignians, who were in turn kicked out by the Romans.  The Romans called Jerez, "Certium."  Alas, the Romans were squeezed out in the first century AD by Vandals, who, in turn, were forced to vacate by the Visigoths.  Then came the epic battles between Islamic Moors and Christian re-conquestors.  Amazingly, during these centuries of successive occupation and frequent war, wine production continued in Jerez.  By the 15th Century, Jerez and its satellite towns began exporting wine to both England and France.  In fact, many British merchants moved into the Sherry region to take advantage of this rapidly growing wine trade.

Steal This Article: The Ten (wine) Commandments

Editor's note: Steal this article!  Whether you publish a paper, magazine, blog or scribble on the bathroom wall; fresh (& free) content is always welcome, no?  Feel free to grab this article and use it to spice up your publication. Do with it what you will - so long as you mention that the original comes from The Juice.  Now go forth, and copy & paste.

The Ten (wine) Commandments

The social and political trends in my country seem to be headed in a decidedly non-secular direction.  I figure in the not-too-distant future, we’ll all be required to say grace at our favorite restaurants before ordering dinner.  So to help wine lovers prepare for the impending religion-ization of dining rooms across the nation, I present the Ten Commandments (from a wine worshipper’s perspective).

I. Thou shalt have no other beverages before wine (Actually, it’s always a good idea to drink water.  Additionally, Japanese beer is a very tasty companion to sushi & sashimi.  Oh, and a sweating gin & tonic on summer evenings hits the spot.)

II. Thou shalt not make unto wine any graven image (You know what’s fun?  Try your hand at sculpture using the cork, foil and cage from a bottle of sparkling wine.  This is good for hours of entertainment.  And a vintage Ramos Pinto Porto poster makes for a great accent piece in the living room.  Idolatry isn’t all that bad)

III. Thou shalt not take the name of Krug thy Champagne god in vain (There is absolutely no wiggle-room here.  Krug really is sanctified, sparkling nectar of the gods and should never be blasphemed.  Of course if you do have a real cursing problem, or happen to be a sailor, I suggest creating a ‘curse cup.’  Pitch in one dollar every time foul language tumbles from your lips.  In no time, you’ll be able to afford that $150 bottle of Krug)

How To Spit in German, French & Italian

(Editor's note: This is part of the weekend series of posts by guest authors, who are fellow bloggers, wine industry folk and Basic Juice readers.  If you are interested in being a guest author on Basic Juice, contact me with a proposal, and we'll see if we can't introduce the world to your handiwork.)

Guest Author: Emily of Winemonger - an importer and online retailer of Austrian wine.

How To Spit in German, French & Italian

In honor of Beau’s upcoming Live Austrian Wine Adventure, and for all of you out there who are planning your own wine tours abroad, I thought I would put together this small guide of words you may find yourself needing to say when you are in a German, French or Italian winery (in that order).

AGE: alter – age – eta

ALCOHOLIC CONTENT: alkoholgehalt - teneur en alcool - gradazione alcolica

BOUQUET, NOSE: bukett – bouquet – bouquet

CORKY TASTE: korkgeschmack – gout de bouchon – sapore di tappo

DRY: trocken - sec - secco

EARTHY: erdig – gout de terroir – terroso

FAT: fett – gras – grasso

FRESH: frisch – frais – fresco

FRUIT: frucht – fruit – fruttato

GRAPE: beere – baie – acino

GRAPE CLUSTER: traube - raisin - grappolo

GRAPE VARIETY: rebsorte – cepage - vitigno

LEES: geläger – lies – feccia

Steal This Article: Pink Drinking

Editor's note: Steal this article!  Whether you publish a paper, magazine, blog or scribble on the bathroom wall; fresh (& free) content is always welcome, no?  Feel free to grab this article and use it to spice up your publication.  Do with it what you will - so long as you mention that the original comes from The Juice.  Now go forth, and copy & paste.

Real Men Drink Pink

OK, I admit it.  I used to snicker at people who drank White Zinfandel.  My thoughts went something like this: “Why drink a wine that more closely resembles iced tea or cherry Kool-Aid than real wine?”  Luckily, that was as far as I made it down wine snobbery lane.  A very enlightened wine guru helped me do a U-turn when she shared her cardinal rule of wine enjoyment:  “If you happen to like a particular wine, then who cares what anyone else thinks about it?  Just drink and enjoy.”  Wine is all about enjoyment.  If you happen to like White Zin then bully for you!  I must admit; it takes a courageous person in the often hyperpretentious lounge culture to order a glass of pink wine.  I’ve seen an entire table collectively roll its eyes at a courageous (or blissfully naïve) thirtysomething ordering the lone glass of White Zinfandel amidst a sea of inky Cabernet and oaked up Chardonnay.  Well, I now proclaim myself to be a rosé drinker and I’m damn proud of it.  I still don’t care for White Zinfandel.  But I have discovered a nice little universe of rosé wines outside the White Zin realm that are perfect for springtime sipping.

Steal This Article: Bitters

Editor's note: Steal this article!  Whether you publish a paper, magazine, blog or scribble on the bathroom wall; fresh (& free) content is always welcome, no?  Feel free to grab this article and use it to spice up your publication.  Do with it what you will - so long as you mention that the original comes from The Juice.  Now go forth, and copy & paste.

Nostrum Remedium: Bitters

An Extraordinarily Brief history of Patent Medicine
The term “snake oil salesmen,” the modern advertising industry (which, some might consider to be synonymous) and dozens of liquors and spirits owe their existence in our lexicon, on our televisions and behind countless bars to something prosaically referred to as patent medicines.  Patent medicines were the early industrial age expressions of nostrum remedium, or, “our remedy” – various concoctions of secret ingredients, sold as miraculous cures, with varying degrees efficacy.  Mid-19th century pushers of snake oil liniment claimed their product would cure everything from arthritis to dropsy.  It didn’t; and a pejorative was born.  Lest these liniment salesmen take all the blame, let it be known that outrageous claims weren't restricted to the snake oil marketing department.  Competition amongst patent medicine producers was fierce.  Thus, the task at hand for pioneers in advertising was to differentiate their products, or, in other words, to create a brand.  As a result of advertising’s big bang, products such as Mug-wump Specific were born.  Mug-wump was touted as a, “cure and preventative for all venereal diseases.” Not to be outdone, Bonnore’s “electro magnetic bathing fluid” was hailed as a cure for necrosis, epilepsy, cholera, scarlet fever and something called “mercurial eruptions.”  It’s nice to see that ad-men and ad-women aimed high right from the get-go.  Aside from cure-alls for V.D. and speedy eruptions, many products of the patent medicine age made more believable claims.  For example, Coca-Cola and Dr. Pepper were introduced primarily as energy elixirs.  While the paleo soft drink manufacturers duked it out on the pep-in-step front, one maker of an herb-based, alcohol-containing tonic went for the gut.

Mauzac to our Ears

(Editor's note: This is the second in a series of posts by guest authors whose own blogs are under-appreciated/under-visited.  If you are new to wine blogging, or host a blog out in the remote reaches of wineblogistan, contact me with a post proposal, and we'll see if we can't deliver more winos to your site.)

Guest Author: Caryl of Château Rives-Blanques

Talk about challenging names and have-to-be-hand-sold wines ... what about a mauzac called 'Xaxa', then?

In fact, what about Mauzac period/full stop?

Mauzac is an old traditional grape variety of the Renaissance, which used to be widespread throughout the south of France and even featured in Antiquamareto's Livre de Raison  in the early 16th century -  but today exists in only two appellations (Limoux and Gaillac).

The one thing mauzac does really well is, it sparkles.  Some time around 1500 the Benedictines  in a monastery  in Limoux, close to Carcassonne, were blessed by a happy accident (or was it divine intervention?) and  found that out for themselves.  They went into business, and no wonder: at that time, a sparkling Blanquette (the original name for mauzac) was worth twice as much as a non-sparkling wine, so they were on to a good thing.  This all happened over 150 years before another Benedictine, a certain Dom Pérignon  passed by on his obligatory pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostella, and probably had his first sip of their famous bubbles on the way.   (Am I implying he stole, or at best borrowed, the recipe - or in this case, méthode?  Well ... perhaps.  Besides, even Robert Parker says that Blanquette de Limoux is much, much older than champagne, so the story must be true.)

Steal This Article

Editor's note:  Steal this article!  Whether you publish a paper, magazine, blog or scribble on the bathroom wall; fresh (& free) content is always welcome, no?  Feel free to grab this article and use it to spice up your publication.  Do with it what you will - so long as you mention that the original comes from The Juice.  Now go forth, and copy & paste.

First in Bubbles

Picture this:  You’re a 16th century monk who is lucky enough to live in an abbey surrounded by vineyards.  Aside from an abundance of peace and quiet, you enjoy looking after your beloved bottles of fermenting wine in the subterranean cellar.  Spring has sprung and it’s time for you and your fellow monks to find out if that special miracle has occurred for a second straight year.  You and the brothers anxiously descend the stone stairs.  Being the nimblest monk, you reach the bottles first and carefully pick one up.  They’ve appeared again!  Hallelujah and praises be.  The tiny bubbles have returned.  The others offer prayers of thanks, while you perform a decidedly non-pious jig.  Reverence can be temporarily cast aside; this abbey is rocking with sparkling wine.

Cabernet, Wallace Style

I love wine. Wine tasting notes - not so much. The traditional tasting note is brief, descriptive and entirely unimaginative. Occasionally I daydream of ways in which my passion for wine might be more creatively communicated. I've experimented with wine love letters, fake wine news shows and avant-garde poetry. However, I always return to the David Foster Wallace-style tasting note. Why? A Wallace note maintains the traditional form, yet at the same time, it opens wine up to adjunct information, brief and extended asides, and random weirdness. And hey, who doesn’t enjoy a glass of wine, chased by a shot of random weirdness? If you’re a Wallace fan, sit back and enjoy. If Wallace gives you hives, prepare the tomatoes!

 

Montes⁽¹⁾ Alpha⁽²⁾ Cabernet Sauvignon⁽³⁾ 2003⁽⁴⁾ (~$20)
Deep⁽⁵⁾ indigo⁽⁶⁾ in color, fading to an intense pink rim⁽⁷⁾. Classic Cabernet nose⁽⁸⁾ of cassis⁽⁹⁾, leather⁽¹⁰⁾, cigar box⁽¹¹⁾, black plum⁽¹²⁾ and vanilla⁽¹³⁾. Dry, with balanced acidity⁽¹⁴⁾ and soft mouth-filling⁽¹⁵⁾ tannins⁽¹⁶⁾. Medium-full bodied⁽¹⁷⁾ with a fruit-dominated palate⁽¹⁸⁾ and slightly abbreviated⁽¹⁹⁾, vanilla-heavy finish⁽²⁰⁾. A reasonably priced Cabernet from the Colchaqua valley⁽²¹⁾. This wine may be drunk now⁽²²⁾, but may develop more complexity⁽²³⁾ over the next 2-4 years⁽²⁴⁾.

Festivus: For the Rest of Us

I think Frank Costanza was on to something.  Remember Festivus?  If you have no idea what I’m talking about then I suggest you watch the Seinfeld episode entitled, “The Strike.”  I propose we celebrate this fine holiday on December 23rd.  I used to enjoy the concept of Thanksgiving:  Poor persecuted puritan pilgrims fleeing tyrannical Britain to freely practice their religion.  Later these pilgrims shared a meal of thanks with friendly Native Americans.  It all sounds so idyllic and quaint.  Look a little closer at what those pilgrims left their adopted land; something called, “Puritanism.”  And the effects of this -ism?  It didn’t end at witch burning.  It evolved into something called Prohibition and then mutated into all those draconian interstate wine shipping laws.  Couple this with the naked, over-the-top commercialism of the Christmas shopping season, and I for one, feel the need to establish an alterna-holiday - just for us wine lovers.  Hence, my newly adopted holiday, Festivus.

Mr. Costanza was quite clear on the proper celebration of Festivus.  First, the only decoration allowed is an aluminum pole; devoid of ornamentation - especially tinsel.  Second, on Festivus eve we all must gather together our families and friends and conduct the “airing of grievances.”  Finally, our Festivus celebration concludes with “feats of strength.”

Allow me to present some ideas for a fun and wine-friendly Festivus ’05.

Ripeness or Ruin

Picture a quaint vineyard alongside a river in Germany. It’s a foggy autumn morning. The grower crouches next to a vine and examines a cluster of grapes. What is he thinking? Perhaps he thinks, “Mein Gott!  I need to harvest these grapes today before the frost arrives.”  Maybe he is a bit of a risk-taker and thinks, “Mein Gott!  If these grapes can hang on for a few more weeks, I’ll be able to make stunning wine.”

I’ve always found risk-takers to be more interesting than path-of-least-resistance types.  Even a simple wine grower in Southern Germany willing to roll the dice in the vineyard makes for an engrossing tale.

Pretty Young Thing

Pretty Young Thing

I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin' Care
And I'll Take You There
I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin' Care
I'll Shake You There

Remember this tune? Hint:  It’s pre-creepy/trying-to-look-like-Diana Ross-through-plastic surgery Michael Jackson. Granted, in light of recent Jackson-revelations, the lyrics seem somewhat troubling.  Let’s put all that aside and apply the sentiment of this song to pretty young wine.

Killer B's

(Editor's note -- this article is intended for those with little/no knowledge of the Piedmont's big reds)

Brrr.  This morning I took the pooch out to pee and noticed frost on the ground.  It seems winter is trying to infringe on autumn - my favorite time of year.  Why do I adore fall?  For some primitive reason, when the weather cools and leaves begin to yellow, I crave roasted foods.  With apologies to my vegetarian friends, I heartily crave slow roasted meat.  In addition to roasted culinary delights, autumn unleashes my passion for brooding, gnarly red wine.  As I happily strut around in my favorite fall sweater, I scoff at the silly little reds in my wine cabinet.  I want red wine with structure and attitude.  Thankfully northwestern Italians share my passion for red wine in autumn.  This region of Italy is called the Piedmont and its bold red wines are killer (in the colloquial sense).  And it just so happens that they all begin with the letter, “B”: Barbera, Barbaresco, and Barolo.

Wine Anatomy 101

It’s that time of year.  Leaves are a-changing and new textbooks are a-cracking.  You see; I never thought I would admit this.  But I miss school.  I long to purchase several hundred dollars’ worth of textbooks in September, spread them out on a table, and peruse their pages.  In case you hadn’t noticed; I’m a geek.  But wait.  I get geekier: My favorite classes in college were entomology and herpetology.  I liked learning about bugs and frogs – where they lived, how they behaved, what they ate.  I really enjoyed studying insect anatomy.  Let’s see.  You’ve got the head, thorax, and abdomen..

Seeing as how I’m supposed to be writing a wine column, I’ll move along to wine anatomy.  For today’s lesson, we’ll be dissecting (and wine is much more fun to dissect than some poor critter) two wines:  Salmon Run Chardonnay, 2003 ($12) from upstate New York and Peter Lehman Barossa Chardonnay, 2003 ($11) from South Australia.  Your assignment is to identify the three anatomical components in a glass of wine:  Fruit character, acidity, and body.

P.Y.T.

Pretty Young Thing

I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin' Care
And I'll Take You There
I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin' Care
I'll Shake You There

Remember this tune? Hint:  It’s pre-creepy/trying-to-look-like-Diana Ross-through-plastic surgery Michael Jackson.  Granted, in light of recent Jackson-revelations, the lyrics seem somewhat troubling.  Let’s put all that aside and apply the sentiment of this song to pretty young wine.

The Jugsy Challenge

Hello everyone! Welcome to America’s hottest new game show, The Jugsy Challenge. I’m your host, Wink Baggenbochs.
Let’s introduce today’s contestants: From the Big Apple, she’s a discerning wine critic who knows how to dissect wine with only a couple of sniffs and a single sip. KW, welcome to the show.

Thank you, Wink — I’m excited to play.

Our other contestant is a Salt Lake City resident. She’s a casual wine drinker who knows exactly what she likes and what she doesn’t like. CC, welcome to The Jugsy Challenge.

Thanks, Wink! I am glad to be here.

Alright everyone, here’s how we play! Our crack staff has selected two value-priced “jug” Chardonnays for you to taste. One is in the conventional 1500ml magnum bottle, which is the equivalent of two standard-sized 750ml bottles. The other wine is in the revolutionary new bag-in-box cask. This is an airtight bag that allows wine to remain fresh in the refrigerator for one month or longer. All you have to do is tell me which one you prefer.  After I hear your answers, we move on to the bonus round. In the bonus round I will ask each of you which wine you would serve at your best friend’s house-warming party and which one you would take to your boss’s unbearably lame annual office party. The contestant who answers most convincingly wins our fabulous grand prize.

Okay, contestants, let’s play The Jugsy Challenge!

Wine number one is Hardy’s Stamp of Australia Chardonnay in a three-liter bag-in-box cask. Hardy’s describes this wine as having “clean fresh citrus melon and peach aromas.” This three-liter box sells for $16; it is the equivalent of four regular-sized bottles. KW what do you think of this wine?

Well, Wink, let me say that the packaging is great. Who wouldn’t want to have a fresh glass of wine available in the fridge at any time? This Chardonnay smells like canned pears in heavy syrup. It’s smooth and easy to drink, but unfortunately it does taste quite artificial.

All right! Thank you, KW. Now, CC — what do you think?

Wink, this tastes a little like nail polish remover.

Uh, thank you CC. Anything else?

Yes, Wink. Can I have a glass of water, please? I really need to get this taste out of my mouth.

Gewurz + Sushi

Saturday night is often sushi night.  This past sushi night will forever be remembered as, "great Alsatian Gewurztraminer followed by pufferfish fin in sake" -sushi night.

When my foxy lady and I arrived at the sushi bar, we both looked around and immediately felt as if we were in a Left Behind novel.  The bar was almost completely empty - at 8:30pm.  Eerie. Ok; granted we're talking Salt Lake City here; and New York it aint. Still, an empty sushi bar on a Saturday night was indeed odd.  We strode over to the bar and plopped down across from the executive sushi chef. 

After enjoying an exceedingly fine bottle of Domaine Weinbach Cuvee Laurence Gewurztraminer (details below), we got to speaking with the chef.  We bantered on about sushi grades, fish freshness, Japanese culture, and sake.  Once the topic turned to sake (of which I am a complete novice) he told us about a unique sake cocktail:  Dried, grilled pufferfish fin in warm sake.

We were intrigued, and, as luck would have it, the chef had some dried fins.  He grilled them, warmed the sake and handed us a couple of ceramic cups.  I must admit, aside from the sake flavors, I detected only fishiness and saltwater.  Yet about 15 minutes later something odd began to happen.  My extremities began to feel as if I had slept on them all night - causing that buzzy/sleeping/numb sensation.  It was subtle, yet a little disconcerting. 

Yummy Yellow Tail?

I worked in a wine store during last year’s holiday season.  I took the job as something of a wine/social experiment.  I was curious to see what people bought for parties, gifts and themselves.  I met serious bargain hunters:  “Which is better - the four dollar Chardonnay or the three dollar White Zinfandel?”  I also met very generous gift givers:  “Help me find the very best bottle of wine in the store.”  Yet the holiday refrain I heard most often (seemingly every five minutes) went like this:  “Where is the Yellow Tail Shiraz?”  Somewhat less often I heard the same question with the words ‘Chardonnay,’ ‘Merlot,’ or ‘Cabernet’ substituted for ‘Shiraz.’  In fact I heard these words so often; I began to think my name was, “Sir Where-is-the-yellowtail.”  In case you’ve been living on the International Space Station, Yellow Tail is an Australian line of wines that are selling like Wham-O boomerangs of the 1970’s.  I carried out entire ‘Tail cases for customers.  I had to restock the shelf every 30 minutes!  I got really tired.  I wondered what all the fuss was about?  On the surface, Yellow Tail seems to be like many other budget wines from Oz.  It has a catchy name (though not as catchy as my favorite Aussie name, Woop Woop).  It has a fun label - which, come to think of it, is bolder in color than many other wine labels.  It costs between eight and ten dollars - just like dozens of other Aussie wines.  So, what gives?  For three weeks, I watched a river of Yellow Tail flow out the wine shop’s doors.  I was getting curious. I began experiencing the urge to try Yellow Tail.  I tried to resist, but resistance was futile.  One night as I was leaving the store, I noticed a single, lonely bottle of ‘Tail Shiraz sitting on the shelf.  I walked by the bottle, and, as inconspicuously as I could, grabbed it, paid for it, and made a b-line for home.

The Odeon, NYC

(editor's note -- cross-posted at jZepp, the global group blog for food, drink, art, and culture.  Come blog with us today.)

By the WG, New York City

Picture this: You ask for the wine list at a fine restaurant, and the waiter returns with a leather-bound novel, sometimes containing multiple volumes, detailing the overwhelming selection. You flip through the multiple pages of Bordeaux vintages and Chianti producers while trying to decide what you’re ordering for dinner. Ten stares from the waiter and twenty minutes later, you finally digest the list, but by this time, you’re hungry, cranky, and unable to make a rational decision. You end up picking a crappy-smelling red Burgundy that sets you back $90, but you drink the bottle to ease the pain of financial loss, and you go home a poor, unhappy camper. Why must choosing a wine be so difficult?

Sometimes simple is best - a simple wine list, but with more options than just California Chardonnay and Australian Shiraz. This is where The Odeon, one of my favorite New York City restaurants, gets a gold star. Located in Tribeca, far from the tourist traps of midtown, this funky French bistro has been around for 25 years and is clearly doing something right! The place has a cool retro vibe, a trendy yet unpretentious crowd, and simply fantastic food. But the true prize is the wine list: relatively short and sweet, yet most diverse, you can find everything you need and more. Unique selections by both the glass and bottle are strong in French origin, but also hail from different regions around the globe. You can experiment with 21 still wines and 4 bubblies by the glass, with such interesting choices as an Irsai Oliver from Hungary and a Chenin Blanc from Chinon...

Pop! Goes the Litchi

(editor's note -- written by the WineGoddess)

In my desire to consume as much chilled white wine as possible in this nasty and oppressive New York City heat, I rediscovered my love for zesty and refreshing gewürztraminer (more on this wine gem in a future article). Quite often I sat there with sweat running down my forehead, reading the back labels of the flute-shaped bottles: “Intriguingly aromatic with bold hints of exotic spice and litchi nuts…” And then it dawned on me. What the hell is a litchi nut anyway?!

I had a strong urge to find out.

If you’re anything like me (a product of small-town America), you’ve never tried a litchi nut, let alone seen one. So I made a trip to the local Stop & Shop to get the scoop. I was in luck, because apparently early July is prime litchi nut season. Herb the Produce Man (sanity check: can a man named Herb really work in produce?) was kind of enough to point me in the direction of the litchis, piled high in a small box low to the ground and out of sight – clearly not a popular item. Brownish red with spiny looking skins, these golf ball sized things seemed to stare back at me, desperate for attention. I grabbed a few, threw them in a plastic bag, and made my way home.

Like an idiot, I forgot to ask Herb how to eat them.

WR2: Electric Boogaloo

Last week, I was up against an article deadline.  I avoided it.  I dreaded it.  The article was to be a simple, straightforward piece (read: generic) on Syrah/Shiraz.  I planned to compare several wines labeled Syrah and Shiraz.  The grand point was to see if there’s any truth to the accepted notion that Syrah-labeled wine is generally old world in style and Shiraz-labeled wine is generally new world in style.  But here’s the deal:  I love wine. I love to learn about wine.  And no matter how I approached the article, it was painfully boring. I couldn’t write it.  On top of that, I was trying to comply with the writing style that mainstream wine publications expect.  You see, I’ve submitted a few articles to these magazines.  The answer each and every time has been:  “We’re going to pass on your article.”

Well, in the spirit of classic hip hop battles from the 1980s, involving the likes of LL Cool J vs. Kool Moe Dee and KRS One vs. MC Shan (if you’ve got no idea who these people are then I suggest you’re either too old, too white, or too old and too white!), I’m going to drop rhymes about Syrah/Shiraz.  At the same time I’ll dis those musty old school wine writers and their magazines using the classic over-the-top Braggadocio, hip-hop style.  Shall we begin?

Been scribblin ‘bout vines since two-thousand-two
Choppin boring wine writers with verbal kung-fu
Got a nose and palate made of platin-um
Each and every wine, I be nailin ‘em
You know I got juicy mad skills
Makin ya’ll wiggle like bunches of eels

Are you nervous punks?
Yes you better be / Cause you will never see
Wines described exact - to a “T”
100% unique - word up; that’s me

Brace yourself / Arrange yourself
Sit down / Zip up
Buckle-up and shut the F*** up

recycledJuice: Dear Little Vodka

  U.S. consumers spent $9.5 billion on vodka in 2003. $950 million of this was spent on ultra-premium vodka, such as Grey Goose, Ciroc and Ketel One.  This begs the question:  What’s the big friggin deal with vodka?

Vodka originated in either Russia or Poland, depending on whom you ask, a Pole or a Russian.  Vodka is the diminutive form of the word voda, which means water.  So vodka can be roughly translated as, “dear little water.”  Dear little water indeed.  Vodka, by definition, is a neutral distilled spirit.  It’s basically colorless, odorless and tasteless.  Of course ‘tasteless’ doesn’t refer to the effect that vodka’s 40 or 50 percent alcohol content has on your tongue.  Contrary to what many of us have heard, vodka isn’t distilled from potatoes.  Most vodka is distilled from grain; including wheat, rye, barley and corn.  Again a question:  How does this relatively humble, yet powerful liquid generate $9.5 billion in sales?  My best guess: Marketing. The next time you leaf through a magazine notice how many vodka advertisements there are.  Most vodka ads convey sophistication, sexiness, and style.  Stroll through the liquor store and take a look at the premium vodkas.  Some look as though they have been bottled in priceless crystal decanters.  Others look as though a Swedish minimalist designed ultra-chic aluminum bottles to hold the stuff.  With vodka, it’s all about appearance.

To prove (or disprove) my point, I purchased five different brands of vodka; two luxury vodkas, two mid-range vodkas and one bottle of ‘rotgut’ vodka.  My intent was to compare all of them in a blind tasting – a sort of Pepsi Challenge with vodka.

 

Romance Under $20. Guaranteed.

Are you going through one of those, ahem dry spells?  Is watching The Bachelor your significant other’s idea of a romantic evening?  Do you want to add some spice to your relationship, but can’t afford to spend last week’s paycheck on a night out?  I’ve found just the thing for you.  Call it, “romance in a bottle.”  You can even choose between a Spanish version and an Italian version.  What is this mysterious elixir?  Some call it ‘bubbly’ others call it sparkling wine.  I call it just what the Love Doctor ordered.  Actually it’s known as Cava in Spain and Prosecco in Italy.  Both wines are made in much the same way as Champagne; they taste great and are a real bargain (read: under 15 bucks).  But back to romance; imagine greeting Honey/Shnook-ums/Pookie at the door with a bottle of bubbly, as soft music plays in the background.  Perfect.

White Ships of Spain

Screw Robert Goulet and his Red Ships of Spain.  Today I sing the praises of...

The White Ships of Spain

The modern day Spanish wine armada is overwhelmingly red.  Let’s leave these red ships of Spain for a minute and focus on a much smaller fleet: The white ships of Spain.  In fact, for this expedition, we are going to exclude the Cava (Spanish bubbly) and Sherry contingents of our white flotilla, and focus on three white wine producing regions:  Rioja, Rueda, and Rias Baixas.  Wine from these regions is commonly available in most wine shops.  To find it, just sail past all the red.

Attack of the Clones II

Those of you reading about all the Pinot Gris, Pinot Grigio, Pinot Blanc, etc. for WBW10 might find this interesting.  It's called, "Attack of the Clones."  I believe it will help you sort out any white/gray/pink Pinot-confusion you may be experiencing...

Attack of the Clones

Almost all wine, with perhaps the notable exception of that teal-colored stuff next to the beer in the supermarket refrigerator case, is made from the same species of grape:  Vitis vinifera.  This begs the question:  Whence wine diversity?  The wonderfully diverse wine selection that fills up shelves in your local wine store can be attributed to different grape varieties rather than different grape species.  Do you find it difficult to get your mind around the concept of grape variety?  Think about apples.  Compare Granny Smith to Gala to Golden Delicious to Fuji.  They’re all apples, right?  Yet each one smells and tastes dramatically different from the other.  These differences are attributed to apple variety not apple species.  So, while Merlot and Chardonnay are both made from vinifera grapes, they are quite distinct wines made from entirely different grape varieties.

Now that we have the grape variety concept all squared away in our minds, let’s scramble our brains again.  You’ve seen wine labeled “Pinot Noir” before, correct?  What about wine labeled “Pinot Grigio” or “Pinot Gris?”  “That’s easy.”  You say.  “They are just different varieties.”  Not so fast, Einstein.  Technically speaking, Pinot Noir and Pinot Gris/Grigio are the same grape variety.  Pinot Gris/Grigio is simply the mutant clone of Pinot Noir.  Huh? 

Austrian Wine is no Joke

Wow, what a great audience.  Has anyone heard the one about the Austrians and their stalled car? OK.  What do you call four Austrians gathered around a broken down car with the hood up?  A wine tasting!!  Ha!  <tap, tap, tap> Is this thing on?

News at Vine (a 'Daily Show')

Live from the Basic Juice Broadcasting Center in downtown Salt Lake City, Utah.  It’s The News at Vine with anchor, Vin Vintner.

V. Vintner:  Good evening and welcome to News at Vine.  Tonight we begin at the Supreme Court in Washington, D.C.  The court ruled, in a five to four decision, to support interstate wine shipments directly from wineries to consumers. The High Court reasoned that state laws banning such shipments are discriminatory and, therefore, unconstitutional.  Plaintiffs in Michigan and New York are certainly pleased with this decision.  For more on today’s ruling, we turn to News at Vine Senior Legal Affairs Correspondent,