Deconstructing the Wine Review Pt. 1

If you are familiar with major wine magazines such as Wine Spectator, Wine Enthusiast or Decanter, you have undoubtedly read hundreds of wine reviews.  After reading say 10 or so reviews, it becomes crystal clear that there is a high level of redundancy (and conformity) in a typical wine review.

For example, do phrases like this ring a bell?

Textured and framed
Endless tiers of fruit flavor
Cherry-berry-mocha fruit
Plump Cherry and blackberry flavors
Toasty oak
etc. etc. etc....

I was thinking that wine critics would get more response if the review format were turned on its head.  Take this review (I originally wrote it for www.basicjuice.com):

A-Mano Primitivo, 2002 ($11) – This deep inky plum colored wine is a slightly softer version of the big red Zinfandel.  A-Mano has intense cherry scents with subtle woody pepper aromas.  Its flavor is of bright red berries, followed by black pepper and a lightly tannic finish.  This wine is bold and simple.  Try it with pizza, panini

Look how much more entertaining (and equally informative) the review is when written as a Limerick:


Consider an inky red wine named Primitivo
Smell its fruity, peppery scent; then shout, “Wow it’s Neat-O!”
It tastes of red berries
Perhaps also cherries
Bold, yes indeed, like a brand new pink Speedo

Fun isn't it?