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« Long Island Wine: Castello di Borghese | Main | Apocalypse Now »

26 October 2005



Three suspect wines being sought by some kooky wine shop customers. Suspects are likely 750ml each. Names and prices are unknown. If you have any information regarding these suspects, please contact WineGoddess immediately at Basic Juice Headquarters.

Suspect #1: Dry Moscato d’Asti

Background: A young guy strolls in looking for a Moscato d’Asti that isn’t sweet. He says he had one in a restaurant. “Are you sure it wasn’t even slightly sweet?” I ask, thinking perhaps the delicacy of the moscato had fooled his palate. He insists repeatedly that the wine was bone dry. I tell him I’ve never heard of a dry Moscato d’Asti, and I sell him the only moscato we have, fully expecting that he’ll bring it back any day now to complain it’s too sweet.

Suspect #2: Sabatini Cabernet

Background: A frantic woman comes in looking for Sabatini Cabernet. She says it’s about $15 and it just got a good review by Wine Spectator. “Could you be thinking of Sebastiani?” I ask as I point to the Sebastiani Cabernet with it’s 90-point “Smart Buy” shelf talker staring us in the face. Nope, she swears it’s called Sabatini. Since I don’t have her wine, she asks me for something similar. I say it’s hard to recommend something similar when I have no idea what it is or where it’s from. I tell her the Sebastiani is very good, but she storms off in frustration.

Suspect #3: Rioja not from Rioja

Background: An older gentleman walks in looking for a Rioja that he had at a friend’s house. I show him the Spanish section but he says the wine wasn’t Spanish. I try to explain to him that Rioja is a region of Spain, but he doesn’t like this. I ask him if it could’ve been a wine from La Rioja, Argentina, but he says it wasn’t Argentine because he hates Argentine wines. Since I’ve learned to pick my battles, I shrug my shoulders and walk away.


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Okay Beau,
You got me on this one... a dry moscato D'asti...hmmm.. generally Asti is drier than moscato D'asti but with more fizz... I'll make a call to a piedmont freak that i know...hmmm...



Were you able to find that rose of riesling, sparkling Barolo or Alsatian pinotage I was asking for?


My favorite customer query (from my brief stint as a wine shop dude):

"I don't like sweet/fruity wine. Where's the Yellow Tail?"


You know, I usually try to give people the benefit of the doubt since there are so many obscure wines out there. But after a few internet searches and a brief sanity check, I think it's safe to say that they're the crazy ones...

Ryan Opaz

I've had all three of these customers in my shop back in the states. Unfortunatly they were all regulars with different faces each time they came in.

"I want a chardonnay that's not sweet with no OAK, you know like Kendall Jackson!"

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